Gerry's Christmas Message - Merry Christmas 2012 
The Christmas Sweater

Ah yes! Those were the days. You remember,
of course you do, back when everyone was sure the earth was flat. Building pyramids, roads, cities, aqueducts, all smug and smart, figuring out calendars and how the sun revolved around the earth and thinking they knew just about all there was to know. And old God up there, just smiling and keeping track of good and bad deeds.

Well then came the enlightenment? when they put a bunch of guys in boats, and let them go sailing off to some far away place, raising hell, drinking too much and in general, bothering a bunch of people they didn't even know. They were just doing what men do, when their wives aren't around to keep an eye on them. And then, as luck would have it, they just happened to discover the world was round in the process. (Today they go in cars, we call them golf outings).

Now here we are again, all smug and smart with our planets and galaxies, black holes and big bangs. We pretty much know it all, and maybe for some, God is just a story we tell the kids at a certain time of the year. Well, I would like to bet you that sooner or later we'll get in some kind of ship, sail out into the great unknown, and find out this world isn't round, no more than it was flat, all those years ago. Instead, I'll bet our little world is just the very end of a fine invisible thread, weaving it's way through a beautiful sweater that some one has been knitting for a long, long time. And God? Oh he'll just smile, shake his head, and keep on knitting.
And, keeping track of who's naughty or nice.

Merry Christmas, put on a warm sweater and give thanks

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Who Cares About Fuel Economy 
We Strongly Recommend MotorVac Intake and Injector Cleaning for Any Car With Over 50,000 Miles or 3 Year Old!

Right now, with the price of gas well over $3.50 a gallon, just about everyone I know is doing their best to squeeze every last mile out of that pricey purchase know as a fill-up. Of course the first step here is to make sure all of your cars maintenance items are up to date, especially the spark plugs and the fuel and air filters, these are critical to good economical performance.

With all this done, you will notice your car starts quickly and runs smoothly without missing a beat, but there is still more you can do and the performance and fuel mileage improvement can be significant.

After three of four years of operation, and especially if a lot of short trips and in town driving have been on the menu, most cars will have substantial build up in the critical areas of the intake where the fuel air mixture is delivered to the engines combustion chambers. Also, the fuel injectors themselves (which spray the fuel into the intake), become somewhat restricted by carbon and varnish deposits. The combination of these will create a less than efficient fuel air mixture to your engines cylinders and rob you of valuable miles per gallon.

The most effective way of cleaning up these critical areas of your engine is the MotorVac Intake and Injector Cleaning System, and we will be offering it at a Very Special Price,$79.95, thru the end of November.

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"The Pride of The Fleet" 
Once shining, noble, and fresh; the years had taken their toll on this hard working lovable Mini-van. Ten years, and the kids had spent a good portion of their lives inside those now sticky doors. Mom had been trying to get Elwood and Jake (the twins) to retrieve little Edna’s Sugar Daddy that was melted into the carpet. Jake assured her that the tribe of ants had that situation pretty much under control.

And, besides, it would be a nice treat for Harriet, (Martha’s gerbil) who got loose on the way to show and tell and had been living up behind the glove box for weeks. What with the array of Cheerios, Peanut Butter Crunch and mostly empty juice boxes Harriet would never starve; the little lumps of gerbil poo were the proof.

The van was an equipment room of misfit toys: every corner “organized” with an ice skate, shin guard, whistles, balls, nets, paddles, and even a ballet slipper here and there. The windows were privacy tinted with gooey hand and nose prints that only the brightest sunshine could penetrate. The outside was the victim of too many parking lots, shopping carts, stray baseballs and Frisbees.

Used—Oh definitely, abused– well yes that too, but loved like one of the family — Without a doubt!

So here’s to you old road warrior, valiant protector and deliverer of children, you warm haven after a cold rainy soccer game. Here’s to your strong heart of an engine that carries us down the roads and through the camp grounds dragging bicycles and tents. Bless you, you are the pride of the fleet.

Maybe she deserves some time at our day spa!!

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Free Psychiatric Help 
Soooo, your car is driving you crazy!! There is an illuminated picture, on the instrument panel, of something that looks sort of like a unicorn, with an arrow through his neck, and that page of the owners manual is where one of your kids decided to hide his pop tart for after school, (a month ago).

It’s also making some kind of a “wangy”, aboriginal instrument sound from underneath when you put it in R And just to make you really nuts, the engine gets a serious case of the hiccups, but only every time you go past the emergency turn around on the way to the Mall.

So, what is a really crazy person to do??? Of course! Go to a huge, bright-light-flashing, fancy waiting room place, with lots of well dressed smiling people asking you if you would mind filling out a short survey concerning your experience here. You know- rest rooms, television stations, art work, special coffee blend-, so they can mail it to the owner who is in the Med’ right now and wants to be sure his business is being run properly.

Oh, and by the way, the diagnostic charge is “some” hundred dollars, and your problem is “probably” some thing in the auxiliary air bafelator observatory. Which, if you leave it for a few days they can surely put enough new parts on to fix something. Ho ho ho, spare yourself this insanity, the Doctor is in!

In my state of semi-retirement I refuse to fix another car, but I am here for you, - to talk you through your darkest automotive moments and watch your problems “shrink”. Feel free to call me ANYTIME on my FREE hotline—882-8355

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Fast and Heavy 

That headline might sound like good qualities for a middle inebacker, but in this instance were describing something your more likely to find in your garage. Yes your Car, SUV or Minivan - sometimes close to two tons and not unusual to see it going sixty or seventy miles per hour.

If it were an Airplane it would be required to get a thorough check over before every flight. Considering the cargo they carry – family, friends, babies and grannies – we should all be careful not to take the care and safety of this family transporter for granted.

Everybody loves a bargain, but believe me, your vehicle needs more than a quick, cheap fluid change a couple of times a year. We recommend that you set up a schedule with your service center to get it in at least twice a year for a good complete check over.

We are very fortunate in Pennsylvania to have an excellent Safety Inspection program in place. If you are the typical Erie driver, we see from ten to fifteen thousand miles per year. I would coincide one of my oil change services with the annual inspection and at that time set up another appointment six months from then for another good check over and service.

With road, weather and driving conditions, things wear out, come loose and break, and when that happens, “Fast and Heavy” becomes a formula for disaster.

Be responsible and take the steps necessary for safety. Drive like your life depends on it.


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